Dion lets down Canada

I just finish up carpentry school for the year in time for the latest scandal to come out of Stephen Harper's scandal free gov't. As we all know by now, it looks as if the conservative party may have tried to buy a dying man's vote with a million dollar life insurance policy. Now that's classy. I have no idea if these allegations are true but I actually hope they are not because they're just that slimy. It really doesn't seem to matter much if dirt sticks to Harper or not on account of the absolutely spineless behavior displayed by the Liberal leadership and Stephane Dion. I've been blogging for a year now and have defended Mr Dion many times. I supported his plan to leave Canadian troops in Afghanistan till 2009 even though I wanted the troops out immediately because I thought it was a plan that Canadians would support and anything was preferable to the Conservative plan which calls for Canadian troops to fight and die in the Middle East until the end of time. I believed like many Liberals that he would pull the party to the left. For awhile it seemed that he might, he was prepared to let the most offensive parts of the Anti-terrorism act die by refusing to support their renewal. A position he has since sadly reversed. He was sticking to his guns on that 2009 withdrawal date and he was properly instructing the senate to pass nothing. Unfortunately this is no longer the case. The last few weeks have been nothing short of shameful for anyone who is Liberal. Is Ignatief a Jedi knight? Does he just wave his hand in front of otherwise sensible people and they loose their fucking minds and start getting into bed with conservatives and extending bullshit wars that half the people in this country want over like right now. Who the fuck speaks for us now? Jack Layton? He's the only one talking any sense when it comes to this war. The Dippers also make sense when they accuse Liberal Mp's of caring more about their seats then they do about doing the right thing. "Boo-hoo my riding has a military base I can't run an election campaign on the war." Not only did Dion drop his pants when it came to the war, he and the Liberal leadership have failed miserably by letting Harper's Crime bill pass. The number one job of all Liberal Mp's, Senators and judges is to make sure that no Conservative anywhere at any time passes a crime bill of any variety. These people have an outlook on crime rooted some where in the middle ages and should never be allowed to subject Canadians to any of their backward social engineering. If you don't get that and you think Harper's crime bill was "moderate" you are a Liberal in name only. Then of course there is the budget. It's true that it didn't contain any poison pills but the last two sure did. If Dion doesn't like this budget he should vote against it. Fuck Harper's threats. I hate to agree with Rex Murphy but he was completely right last week when he said "at some point the opposition has got to well, oppose." Harper might as well have his majority because he is getting away with everything he tries. Mr Dion stop listening to the people around you who's greatest fear seems to be an election and stand up for Canada.

What's up with the flag?

So I guess Conservatives want us to know exactly what country they are ruining. They have a flag the size of a barn door dwarfing our beloved Prime Minister, (insert your own joke) at their celebration for being in office for 2 years. (Shudder). The flag looks like something out of an Orwell novel or one of those hysterical rallies the Nazi's used to throw back in the 30's. What jingoistic nonsense. My favorite part is the giant shadow cast by Mr. Harper on the bottom left corner. Besides casting his shadow over Canada, Harper used the occasion to agree in principle with John Manley that Canadian troops should stay in Afghanistan until the end of time provided we get some helicopters and a thousand more NATO troops. I must say I find it hard to believe that Manley and Harper would be in agreement. Sure their both continentalist American lapdog, war mongering, supply side economist, big business friendly dicks, but Manley is far more to the right then Harper. Ok you got me , you can't be more to the right than Harper but Manley is certainly no Liberal. Bi-partisan commission indeed. Bring home the boys, toss out these bums and let's go back to showing our pride in Canada, not by waving really big flags and taking sides in tribal warfare, but by showing leadership on the environment and on achieving peace through negotiation and diplomacy. You know like adults.

Here's to a better 2008!

Happy New Year everybody. Here's hoping 2008 ends with a different Prime Minister in Ottawa than it is beginning with. It could be Stephane Dion. But I'd settle for Jack Layton, Elizabeth May, Satan. Anyone but the current man in the job. Here's hoping in the mean time that Harper and his minions stop embarrassing Canada on the world stage. 2007 was the year the rest of the world said, "What's up with Canada? They're acting like dicks." Whether it was John Baird making us look bad at environmental conferences, Stephen Harper flying around South America signing trade deals with countries like Columbia, (which just happens to be a Narco-State with a president who has reputed ties to right-wing para-military groups who just happen to kill trade unionists), or our RCMP acting like Nazis and killing an innocent tourist in Vancouver. Or our soldiers running around someone else's country kicking down doors and calling in air strikes, it's been a shameful year for Canada's reputation. Here's hoping that Progressive's stop fighting with each other in 2008. Liberals and Dippers and Greenies spent 2007 at each other's throat, completely ignoring the 250 pound fascist in the room, Stephen Harper! Here's hoping The Blogging Tories read a book in 2008. No, the Bible doesn't count. Here's hoping the Cons never get anywhere near 40 percent in 2008. Every time they do I start looking at houses in Sweden. Here's hoping Mr. Dion gets his swerve on 2008. I really feel this man could be very good for Canada and the Liberal party but the people haven't warmed to him enough yet. Here's hoping the Red Tory comes back to stay in 2008. And finally, here's hoping your family has a safe and prosperous new year. Even the Tories.

Ya baby! The Bombers are going to the Grey Cup!!

Congratulations to my hometown Winnipeg Blue Bombers on a hard fought Eastern Final victory 19-9 over The Toronto Argonauts.

It was ugly but it was a victory. Now on to the Grey Cup against either BC or Saskatchewan. I'm sure the people in Toronto will put on a big party next week. Go Bombers!!!

The war on the war on Christmas is here!

Congratulations to my favorite Canadian right-wing blowhard Micheal Coren for being the first pundit from the right to declare this years first war on Christmas. Mr Coren's column has long been a personal favorite of mine.He is so convinced that evil Liberal social engineers run the world that he actually makes me feel better about the real world. If Mr Coren is so angry things cant be that bad. The man who thinks Jesus would want us to use tactical nukes on Iran has an article in today's Winnipeg Sun decrying a British think tank tied to the British labour party for coming out with a report which states that in general Britain is no longer a Christian nation and public institutions should be more inclusive of other faiths.The report states "If we are going to continue as a nation to mark Christmas, then public organizations should mark other religious festivals as well." Sounds reasonable. But to Mr Coren this is just another example of the Godless liberal horde out to ruin Christmas. The war on Christmas is here! According to Mr Coren it is only a matter of time before this British heresy comes to Canada because "We adopted an official policy of multiculturalism long ago and decided Canada was simply not worth preserving." Right..... So anyway get with the program you blogging Tory trolls, Its time to fight the war on the war on Christmas.

What's up Quebec? You used to be cool.

One of my few regrets is that I never really took advantage of Trudeau's vision and learned to speak French. I say this because I have often, in my uninformed past, mused about moving my family to La Belle province. Quebec seemed like such a hip and progressive place, a socially liberal mecca. Almost like a little piece of Europe in the middle of Canada. $7 a day daycare, strong union and labour movements, multi-cultural ism that was not only happening but also working. A province that was not afraid to trade and engage with America, but was unwilling to bow to her. Sophisticated, worldly, cigarette-smoking intellectuals who hate war and love sex. A group that skewed Canadian public opinion further to the left than it otherwise would be. Stephen Harper himself said it when he talked about how if you took Quebec out of the polls, 50% of Canadians were all for sending Canadian troops to Iraq. 50%!! These morons never got their way for one reason, Quebec.
It seemed that Canada needed Quebec. A province always on the right (left) side of every issue. A place with no time for the backward ideas espoused by so many Western Canadian and American right-wing troglodytes. Sure they wanted to separate from Canada, but I figured this was only because they felt Canada was holding them back from becoming the socialist utopia they would become if it wasn't for Conservative English Canada. Hell, even their own Conservative party was made up of Red Tories, much closer in ideology to Joe Clark than Stephen Harper. The leader of the Separatists was a coke-snorting homosexual so they couldn't be all bad. Boy was I wrong!
It turns out the Bloc is made up of two wings. The social liberals I mentioned are there, but they all live in Montreal. The rest of the Bloc seems to be made up of rural, French-Catholic nationalists who not only hate the rest of Canada, but are intolerant of Muslims and Jews too. Many of these people decided they were going to support Mario Dumont and his merry band of racist assholes in the provincial election. And even worse, support Stephen Harper federally. They know Harper won't let them separate but they know he will give them more and more provincial power or "autonomy" as they see it.
The people of Herouxvilles are the perfect example of what is wrong with Quebec. The town council's "code of conduct" for minorities introduced last winter was ridiculously racist and embarrassing to any Canadian who values tolerance. It didn't however lead to much outrage. Instead people seemed to nod their heads and start talking about "reasonable accommodations" and how they have gone too far. (The Globe and Mail have an excellent comment editorial in the Saturday, October 27th edition regarding this issue.)
There seems to be a big backlash against Muslims and multi-cultural ism. The French just elected immigrant-bashing, George Bush-loving, right-wing dickhead Nicolas Sarkozy. The Dutch, too, have hardened their attitudes on immigration. Hell, I even raise one eyebrow in a condescending manner towards our Liberal friends in Ontario who just elected a government almost exclusively based on one issue, funding for faith-based schools. Were you against funding for faith-based schools because it's wrong for all faiths? Which it is. Or did you not want Muslim schools getting money? I hope it is the former. Heir Harper has not failed to notice and exploit this issue inserting into the throne speech his plan to pass a law making sure Muslim women could not vote while wearing a veil. Muslim women, by the way, were not looking for this privilege.
Are we living in crazy world? Federalists in Quebec voting for Stephen Harper. Separatists who don't want to create a European-style welfare state, but instead want to go back to 1940 where everyone was white and the priest was the highest authority. The last thing provinces need is more autonomy or more rights. I live in Manitoba. Without the intervention of a powerful central government in Ottawa and the Charter, the half-wit rednecks who make up this province would soon turn it into Alabama without the southern charm. In spite of this silliness going on out East, a big majority of Quebecers are against the war in Afghanistan and for Kyoto. But by supporting Harper as the federalist option, and weakening the Liberals, they are sure to give Harper the chance to continue his never ending war and his dance on the grave of Kyoto.
The biggest irony of all this is that while Quebecers seem to be taking stupid pills, Albertans who have been dumb enough to vote Conservative since 1971 on the other hand seem to be getting smarter. The provincial government's decision to raise royalties was way overdue. It's not nearly enough, but at least Albertans are making the oil companies take them out to dinner before they fuck them up the ass now. So wake up Quebec, there is a culture war and"tabernac" the good guys need you.

Another speech for Karzai

Now that the NDP has uncovered the fact that Canada's Department of National Defense provided most of the talking points for President Hamid Karzai's speech to Parliament on his last visit to Canada, I thought Mr. Karzai might accept my draft for his next speech to the Canadian people. This speech will presumably take place after an expected fall election.
Thank you Prime Minister Dion for that kind introduction. I am honoured to have been invited by your new coalition government to address the Canadian Parliament and the Canadian people once again. Firstly I would like to thank the families of the Canadian soldiers who have given their lives in Afghanistan for their sacrifice. Next I would like to thank the Canadian people for putting their hard won international reputation on the line and supporting NATO's mission in my country. I feel I must comment on recent developments in Canadian politics. Canada's new Minister of Foreign Affairs Mr. Jack Layton joined with Mr. Dion in a coalition government to defeat Mr. Harper but only under the stipulation that Mr. Dion would hold a vote on pulling Canada's troops out of the south of Afghanistan in February 2008 and pulling out of Afghanistan all together at the end of the current mission in 2009. It may surprise you but I think this is a good idea. Recent negotiations with several Taliban officials have made me optimistic that stability can be achieved. I am not concerned for my own safety. My security is taken care of by American soldiers and private security contractors (mercenaries). Also my own militia protects me. This army is made up of ex-Northern Alliance fighters who used to be aligned with the Russians. You know, back when the US was aligned with the Taliban. There is also an uneasy alliance of other warlords who I am able to bribe with western money, who support my regime, and protect me and the poppy fields of my allies. A peace deal with the Taliban in the south will make your brave Canadian soldiers unnecessary in the region. Of course, we will have to give up on reconstruction in the south but most of what is in need of reconstruction was caused by American bombers. The same bombers that dropped bombs on innocent villagers causing them to chant, "Death to Canada! Death to America!". They will have to live under Taliban oppression but at least they will have some security. This new stability will enable the Americans to build their oil pipeline from the Caspian region to Pakistan. This will allow me and the other warlords to continue our narco state until the next fake election that takes two weeks to complete. The Afghan people will, of course, still be dirt poor and living with a corrupt police force, judiciary and army. The female children of ex-patriots who live under my rule in Kabul will continue to make up the majority of girls going to school. In conclusion, Canada certainly wasn't going to change a single thing that was going on in Afghanistan and leaving now won't change a thing either. However, taking my side in the battle of warlords for control of the "smack" money has really put me in an excellent position. Thanks chum....ps.

P.S. A Liberal-NDP coalition government is not a prediction. Unfortunately, both sides are too partisan to work together. One can dream however.